


Batchat

by eastwinds



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Robin (Comics)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eastwinds/pseuds/eastwinds
Summary: Just another groupchat with the Batfamily.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy xX

_ Dick Grayson created a new group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Barbara Gordon to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Jason Todd to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Cassandra Cain to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Tim Drake to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Damian Wayne to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Stephanie Brown to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson named the group “Batfam” _

  
  


**Jason** : WTF is this

 

**Tim** : What happened, why am I here

 

**Damian** : ???????

 

**Dick** : Read the group name

 

**Jason** : But still, why the hell

 

**Dick** : JUST READ THE NAME!!!!!! Thank you

 

**Jason** : OH WATCH OUT

 

**Jason** : MISS GRAYSON IS MAD

 

**Dick** : oh gosh

 

**Dick** : What did I do to deserve you

 

**Jason** : IDK either

 

**Jason** : I’m too good for ya, bitch

 

**Dick** : …

 

**Jason** : oh wait

 

**Jason** : Where is Alfred telling me to watch my language?

 

**Dick** : Oh shit

 

**Dick** : I knew it was incomplete

 

_ Dick Grayson added Alfred Pennyworth to the group _

 

_ Dick Grayson added Bruce Wayne to the group _

 

**Bruce** : What’s the purpose of this?

 

**Jason** : … here comes world's greatest detective

 

**Dick** : Really, Bruce? WHY NOBODY HERE BOTHERS TO READ THE NAME?

 

**Barbara** : But seriously, Dick

 

**Stephanie** : We already communicate, why do we need a group?

 

**Dick** : Oh c’mon

 

**Dick** : cause it’s funnnnnnnn

 

**Damian** : I beg to differ

 

**Dick** : Nobody asked you

 

**Damian** : Nice

 

_ Damian Wayne left the group _

 

**Dick** : Such a drama queen

 

_ Dick Grayson added Damian Wayne to the group _

 

**Damian** : WHY?????????

 

**Jason** : Chill out, Demon Spawn

 

**Tim** : “Chill out” says the most unchill person ever

 

**Damian** : Demon Spawn?

 

**Damian** : I hate you

 

**Jason** : But we both know that’s not true, Demon Spawn ;)

 

**Damian** : I’M GONNA KILL YOU, TODD

 

**Jason** : I would like to see you try

 

**Bruce** : DAMIAN, WE’VE TALKED ABOUT KILLING BEFORE

 

**Damian** : …

 

**Damian** : Not even Jason?

 

**Bruce** : No

 

**Damian** : Father, please

 

**Bruce** : I said no

 

**Bruce** : Stay away from your brother

 

**Jason** : ...

  
**Damian** : You don’t even need to ask


	2. Chapter 2

**Tim** : You know which animal is the best at hitting a baseball?

 

**Tim** : A BAT!!!!!!

 

**Tim** : DID YOU GET IT?????? A BAT

 

**Tim** : LMAO

 

**Dick** : Tim it’s 3 in the morning, go back to sleep

 

**Tim** : I can’t

 

**Dick** : ...

 

**Alfred** : I said he should stop drinking that much coffee, but does he listen?

 

**Tim** : IT WAS FUN

 

**Bruce** : No, it wasn’t.

 

**Barbara** : No, it wasn’t.

 

**Cassandra** : No way.

 

**Stephanie** : Nope.

 

**Jason** : Your jokes sucks just like you, replacement

 

**Alfred** : Master Jason, may I ask you to watch your language?

 

**Jason** : …

 

**Jason** : Sorry, it’s part of who I am as a person

 

**Dick** : Yeah, we know that

 

**Dick** : Unfortunately

 

**Jason** : Shut up, Dickhead

 

**Alfred** : Language, Master Jason, language.

 

_ Jason Todd changed Dick Grayson’s nickname to “Penis Slang” _

 

**Jason** : Waaaay better

 

**Penis** **Slang** : WHAT THE FUCK????

 

_ Penis Slang changed Jason Todd’s nickname to “Zombie” _

 

**Barbara** : Guys, seriously?

 

_ Zombie changed Barbara’s nickname to “IT gurl” _

 

_ Zombie changed the group name to “Batweirdos” _

 

**Damian** : Oh God

 

**Damian** : I have better things to do

 

_ Damian Wayne left the group _

 

**Penis Slang** : I hate this little piece of chaos and anger

 

**Zombie** : I feel u bro

 

**Tim** : we all do

 

_ Penis Slang added Damian Wayne to the group _

 

**Penis** **Slang** : Don’t you dare leaving this group again, Damian!

 

**Zombie** : Yeah, Demon Spawn

 

**Zombie** : We’re not locked in here with you

 

**Zombie** : You’re locked in here WITH US!

 

**Zombie** : MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

_ Zombie changed Damian Wayne’s nickname to “Demon Spawn” _

 

**Demon Spawn** : Is it war what you want?

 

**Zombie** : who doesn’t

 

_ Demon Spawn changed Zombie’s nickname to “Crowbar Princess” _

 

**Penis Slang** : …

 

**Alfred** : …

 

**IT gurl** : …

 

**Stephanie** : …

 

**Cassandra** : …

 

**Tim** : ...

 

**Crowbar Princess** :  **…**

 

**Crowbar Princess** : YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS WITH YOUR BLOOD

 

**Penis Slang** : I feel like I shouldn't be laughing

 

**Penis Slang** : but it's not like I really care

 

**Demon Spawn** : oh fUCK

 

**Bruce** : JASON NO

  
**Bruce** : JASON??????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue? How is it?


	3. Chapter 3

**IT gurl** : Why is this group so quiet?

 

**Stephanie** : Why are you complaining??

 

**Stephanie** : It's a blessing

 

**Crowbar Princess** : Yeah, why sooooo quiet?

 

**Crowbar Princess** : Let’s change this

 

**IT gurl** : Oh-oh

 

**IT gurl** : I created a monster

 

**Stephanie** : Well, shame on you, Gordon

 

_ Crowbar Princess changed his own nickname to “The Best Robin™” _

 

**Tim** : Seriously???

 

**Tim** : No fucking way

 

**Alfred** : Master Tim…

 

**Tim** : Sorry, Alfred

 

**Tim** : But there’s no way he’s the best Robin

 

**Penis Slang** : Of course not

 

**Penis Slang** : I’m the best Robin

 

**Stephanie** : Excuse me???

 

**Penis Slang** : I was the first one, I am the best

 

**Tim** : Being the first one doesn’t mean anything

 

**The Best Robin** **_™_ ** : You were merely the mould, Grayson. I perfected it.

 

**Tim** : EXCUSE ME????

 

**The Best Robin™** : I’m just saying the truth, replacement

 

**Penis Slang** : How can I not be the best Robin? I was the very first one, I chose the clothes, I chose the bird!

 

**Penis Slang** : I gave emotion to this title! I filled it with feelings!

 

**The Best Robin™** : Excuse me, but did you die?

 

**Stephanie** : Excuse me, but did you die?/2

 

**Demon Spawn** : Excuse me, but did you die?/3

 

**Tim** : LOL

 

**Tim** : But you didn’t really die, Steph

 

**Stephanie** : WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON, DRAKE???

 

**Tim** : Mine

 

**The Best Robin™** : Oh-oh, someone’s gonna sleep on the sofa tonight

 

**Stephanie** : What do you mean by that, Todd?

 

**Stephanie** : I’m starting to understand why you kill

 

**The Best Robin™** : Nothing

 

**The Best Robin™** : Don’t hurt me, I’m a smol bean

 

**Stephanie** : Yeah, whatever

 

**Stephanie** : What I want to point out is that I didn’t really die, but all of the Dead Robins  **™** are alive now, so what’s the difference

 

**Tim** : Doesn’t matter who died or not, I was the best Robin, you can ask Bruce

 

**Tim** : I was the most loyal one

 

**Demon Spawn** : Do you have his blood tho?

 

**Penis Slang** : You didn’t even start your training with him

 

**The Best Robin™** : Hey, losers, listen

 

**Cassandra** : You’re typing

 

**The Best Robin™** : ‘kay, listen to my fingers then

 

**The Best Robin™** : There is only one way to decide this

 

**The Best Robin™** : FIGHTING TILL DEATH

 

**Bruce** : …

 

**The Best Robin™** : In an online video-game match, ‘course

 

**Stephanie** : Challenge accepted

 

**Penis Slangs** : Wait for me, I’m gonna grab snacks!

 

**Tim** : I’m soooo gonna kick your asses

  
**IT gurl** : WAIT! CAN I JOIN THAT TOO?


End file.
